i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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