I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
