yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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