Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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