Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
