# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
