Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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