doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
