we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
