i wish my penis had a tongue
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
