so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
