I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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