I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
