Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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