the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
