Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
