OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize