everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
