do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
