Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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