And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize