I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
