Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
