wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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