can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
