We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
