they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
