ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
