Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
