i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
