best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
