Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
