We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You may now shotgun with the bride
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
