'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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