Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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