sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
