Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
