this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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