You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I would fuck him just for his dog
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
