I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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