Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
