i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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