Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
