There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
