16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
