Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
