what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
