Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
