WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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