1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
