Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
last night I used snow as a chaser
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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