how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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