I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it was like eating out sand paper
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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