Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
