Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
