im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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