At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
