can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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