Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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