The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
