just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
